Back by popular demand - it's The Wiire Unplugged! You know, bringing you the latest dish of weekly Nintendo news just too mindblowing to put on the front page! This week-in-review promises to be difficult to top as we learn what Princess Zelda, a carrot, and Pikachu all have in common. Read on, gentle gamers.
A/S/L? Dunno/Female/Hyrule
I consider myself a fairly liberal, open-minded person, even with regards to the veritable cornucopia of strangeness hosted on the Internet. Despite this, I've still never been able to sit comfortably with the idea of meeting women off the same Web site through which I can land a job or buy a used treadmill.
Instead of explaining what I mean, I'll let Princess Zelda's craigslist ad do the talking:
"Hi, I know thats strange one. I want a guy who looks like link. from the game. I thought to myself that I might as well be honest. I look like zelda, so why not ask for it? who knows.. I know theres a guy like that. So if you think you look like link, the blonde skater cut, and light eyes look email me. Im a simple chick who loves zelda. I know thats a corney one to ask but heck we might as well be honest as to what we like? am I right? I want a guy like that and a guy who is romantic and believes in chilvary, love, old school ways, and doesnt have a problem with european culture. Thanks a bunch!!! If I like you, and you have a pic, ill email you back. PS I WILL NOT RESPOND to guys without FACE SHOTS. period. Thankyou for understanding. Im not a body chick. more a face and Please only guys 30 and below. And please do not email me rude comments... this world has too many jerks and I delete them and report to the authorities. Its extreme I know But please have respect."
Not so well spoken for a princess, but I suppose her being so picky isn't out of the ordinary. Props to Flynn De Marco and the crew over at GayGamer for this find.
Nintendo 1, E-Harmony 0
Now while the ruler of Hyrule may be looking for affection in all the wrong places, Ninendo's casual-friendly DS platform has helped facilitate true love.
Xanga blogger "Bernie" developed his own DS homebrew version of his girlfriend's favorite web game, Bejewled. The twist? He rigged it in such a way that the screen cleared to show a very 2-D ring. Forget that old idea of getting down one knee!
For those wondering, "Bernie's" creativity was not in vain - his girlfriend "Tammy" accepted his proposal. Congratulations, kids!
You Say Ocarina, I Say Carrot
The last issue of Unplugged featured a rendition of Portal's "Stay Alive" arranged in Mario Paint. I might have made the claim that it was the apex of crazy video game renditions.
I was wrong. Very, very wrong.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is the value of a YouTube video that leaves me (of all people) speechless?
If that weren't enough, this fella rocks other classic melodies with other vegetables. Check out his presence on YouTube videos to see them all.
Pikachu Promotes Brawl in Iraq
Put your subpoena away, Nintendo lawyers, it's just a funny title. In the spirit of Super Smash Bros. Brawl's upcoming release, I thought this humanitarian piece might be appropriate. In essence, CNN ran a feature showcasing children in Iraq who, despite the war-torn battlefield just outside their homes, were able to escape these woes thanks to entertainment media. Then some sort of Bizarro Pikachu showed up, prompting one girl to inform CNN's reporter of her love for Pokemon.
Cuteness: one language we all understand.
Nintendo's Best of the Best of the Best
Dylan Cuthbert is no stranger to the video game industry. Before spearheading Q-Games, best known for the recent PlayStation Network hit PixelJunk (does anyone use the spacebar anymore?), Cuthbert worked as an employee at Argonaut Software - the programmers for Star Fox on the Super NES.
During an interview with Destructoid, Cuthbert mentioned how demanding working at Nintendo had been, as well as how much of a stickler for perfection the legendary Miyamoto-san is. The end result, Cuthbert boasted, is an asset he considers to be invaluable for gamer designers: being anal.
Jump to Destructoid's full interview for more words of wisdom courtesy of Dylan Cuthbert.
Not So Fast, Nintendo!
You haven't won yet, Miyamoto! I'll get you next time, Gadget! No, wait... sorry, I kind of got into a... thing there. It's kind of hard not to in lieu of THQ CEO Brian Farrel's villainous diatribe at the Morgan Stanley Technology Conference.
As quoted by Kotaku, "...the way we're thinking about this cycle from a high level is, the Wii at that lower price-point had a lot of momentum early in the cycle, but as Sony and Microsoft come down the price curve those two should accelerate, and there's a lot of firepower left in their arsenal..."
I supposed there's no denying the logic there, but there's also no denying the sort of cross-demographic saturation the Nintendo Wii has seen that both Xbox 360 and PS3 (especially PS3) would die for. Time will tell, Mister Farrel.
That concludes the week-in-review courtesy of The Wiire Unplugged, your source for the strange and unusual in Nintendo news. I'd like to take a moment and give props to Kotaku for being a scarily reliable source for some of this news. While Crecente and the good folks over there hardly need this shout out, I probably would be out of work without them.
Find some bizarre stories you think worthy of Unplugged? Send your love (and hate!) over to chrish@thewiire.com, and keep tuned to The Wiire.
